you
Are you broken by what you have seen? Do you find it unbearable to continue? Is that why you haven't reached out? Is this personal? Am I a generic unimportant expendable commodity, who can be shed easily like a pair of socks?
I miss you. I miss our banter, I miss your counsel. I miss your words of an old man, which you write so well, I miss your words of a young man, seductive and ripe like a plum.
I pray that you will write to me. I pray that you won't. I know this friendship is everything you don't want.
So why is it so hard for me to let you go when I know I'm not wanted? I'm trying so so hard not to spiral. I want to be detached. Nonchalant. It doesn't matter. I have had a beautiful friendship, now it's gone. But nothing stops the missing.
#here
Aai