Trepidation
The doors of the gym, their frosted glass swing with such confidence and decision. You are either on this side, or that. That first breath before you push it open, and commit to the run. Trepidation.
You dip your toes in the swimming pool. Icy currents run through your leg. Cap on, goggles on. Get in. Trepidation.
A cytoreduction + HIPEC. Old lady. Poor cardiac function, chemoport on right side. Epidural, central line, arterial line. Take a deep breath while washing up in the washing station. Trepidation.
The child wakes you up, looking anxious and distressed. His hands are flaming hot when they touch your face, his feet are icy cold. You gently insert the thermometer into his arm pit. Wait for the cheep cheep. Trepidation.
"The result is out!" friend calls in joy. You want to be happy for him, while you log in to the website to check your own. He babbles away with joy. You see the page buffer. The circle moves tentatively before you. Trepidation.
You pee on the compact white strip. The first line turns a bright pink. Waiting. Trepidation.
Trepidashion. The squiggly red line. Right click, thesaurus. The computer is slow. What's the correct spelling. Trepidation? No, not this time:)