onedayyouwilltellme
One day you will tell me what happened in 2021-22. I am still unclear. For someone who is otherwise so specific, this is a topic that has caused you so much pain, that you steer clear of it, and only give me brief glimpses into what happened. One day, when you truly feel safe with me, you will open up and release it all. Maybe then you will forgive yourself, because to err is human, to forgive divine. Pardon the repetition. Like a laser breaking a stone into dust. Like the quadrangular block that has fallen on your head has been lifted off by ten flying flamingoes:) Have you ever thought, I might have come into your life to help you heal? (Apologies, if I sound presumptious!) Just the way you have re-entered my life, to help me heal? Imagine me as a small mouse, yourself three years later (your younger version 2.0) to whom you can tell your story, with no judgement. I admire you greatly, for being able to admit your mistakes, for repenting, for trying to set it right, for standing by your wife and your family. You are a man of honour. See yourself in the mirror and see what each line on your forehead has taught you. The past is in the past for a reason, the future is what is so full of hope and promise.
I must tell you a small secret about myself. I don't fight much for anything. I am very unattatched. If something is hard, I am very quick to let it go spiritually, even factors as close to me as my children, my work, my husband. I have bade farewell even to Antu when he was in a catch 22. I have wished him well in his next life, and hoped to meet him again. I have left cases if other anesthetists have shown up, due to a misunderstanding. I have given up a substantially large inheritance for my sister because her life has turned out very different from what she imagined. I have let dnyanesh lead his best life, because I love him so much. But somehow when it comes to you, the words of a wise man come to mind "some battles are worth fighting for" and I feel I wish to keep you in the radius of my life despite so much hesitation from your side. It's not to cause you guilty/grief/harm. It is to bring us mutual joy, growth, and to help us heal...... I wish I could speak farsi to express myself better;) I am here, for you. You have given me so much, allow me to give you some balm.
Surgery not going so well, it's a struggle.
Fingers crossed for your turp baba as well. I'm sure he will be fine.
Yes, for any instrument, you need a real time teacher. Online doesn't work. It's another kind of relationship altogether: guru shishya.
Hope the rest of the day shows more promise!
Aai
Ps: it's funny that you took urology for the timings. MaMo took urology because it has high volumes. Does no one take urology for the love of stones????
PPS: I took anesthesia because I wanted anesthesia. I got medicine at jaslok in 2008 and left it, and took anesthesia. I took it for timings and an easy life. I think I misjudged that part!