introspection
You have made two strong accusations:
- That I am using you
- That I am hurting you and causing you grief.
I have accepted them with an open mind, though it made me feel sad and ashamed.
At the outset I must say that my intent is not to use you or hurt you. It is not at all in my character. But when I look at it from your lens, it might appear that I am using you for your friendship. I am using you for your kindness, your humour, your wit, your intelligence to fill that void in my life, where I meet primarily people who are lacking in these qualities. When you take the time to read my episodes and give feedback, I feel appreciated, heard, and feel like my ideas have resonated with someone else. So yes, I am using your charity and your time and mental space by engaging you in something light and amusing, which makes me feel lovely and less alone. Time which you could have otherwise spent in work or prayer or with your family and better friends.
I am hurting you because I'm a painful reminder of someone else who hurt you in the past. From whatever little you have told me, I have surmised that she and you had a passionate romance and you went to leave your family for her?
I most certainly don't want you to ever leave your family for me. I have no romantic interest in you, or anybody else. My heart is full and I have the best life anyone could have, thank God for that. I am really the most blessed person in the world, thank God for that.
But should you decide not to reply to the blog, I will lack a friend in the shape of an Omar, because he is certainly special, and one of a kind. I will lack a soul sister.
I do intend to continue to write on the blog. I repeat, it is not my intent to hurt you one tiny bit, so if you don't want to read it or reply, so be it.
I am not changing the password. I have run out of passwords to change:) Maybe if I take the Kitty Nithie, I'll get some inspiration for a new pw:)
Aai