episode 10E
PPD, the Guest and Mata walked through the ochre streets of Egypt. The cobbled road was marred by smears of blood from the slaughtering of Ptolemy XIII and his followers. It was a sombre day, an air of grief enveloped the city, like a greenhouse gas. The citizens were divided in their loyalties: those completely betrothed to HRH Cleopatra and her new Regent Consort HRH Julius, and the latter being those who despised the "foreign" blood that had contaminated their Holy line, eliminating their beloved Ptolemy XIII.
The trio stumbled into an inn to whet their beaks, when the Guest noticed a strange looking woman sitting outside, on the steps.
"I wonder who she is!" mused the Guest, noting that her clothes looked slightly inauthentic, quite like their own. To a trained, keen eye, it was obvious that the gold on their collars was not real, unlike the family heirlooms worn by the locals. The trio's necklaces had the distinct sheen of a metal from the far away future, iodised in a shop in Kalbadevi, probably steel stripped of all stains. "She has a similar necklace to ours!" insisted the Guest. "You know that Maganlal dreswala look."
"There's no Maganlal Dreswala in 46AD, D!" sighed PPD rolling his eyes.
"You know what I mean!" she said. "I challenge you to talk to her."
"Really?" said PPD. He casually turned to her and pushed back a lock of hair that landed on his forehead. "Hey how are the refreshments in here?" He asked the girl, effortlessly charming.
The Guest lingered to hear the response.
"Oh it's amazing!" she said. "Especially the cookies and cream goat milk shakes."
"Oh thanks! I'll try that! Thanks for the recco. Hey can I guess what accent that is? 2026?"
"Close! It's 2036!" she retorted. "I'm on beatle train 31052026."
"Oh that's superb, enjoy your cookies and cream milk!"
"Thanks you too!" she replied enthusiastically.
"PPD doktore, I thought you were going to invite her along!" said Mata Hari, threateningly.
"Oh, you think I have a penchant for inviting unwanted women to tag along?" he asked, sarcastically.
"OB, don't be mean!" admonished the Guest. "Don't worry Mata, we won't invite people from other trains, lest we get caught in the Customs of Their Times. We may not be familiar with all the customs of different ages, you see.."
They sat by the window inside the inn, Mata Hari ordering a corn cutlet, the Guest ordering some cold milk (skimmed not available), and PPD digging into a cookies and cream milk shake, when they noticed a rumble on the table next to them. Amidst a sea of what looked like white laundry, was a group of Roman Generals, hunched together. The large one with rippling muscles was particularly animated. He was gesticulating wildly to the other two, trying to narrate a long convoluted story. The Guest saw Mata's antennae pop up. She gave the trio a naughty smile, pulled down her white robe to show a hint more of cleavage, and cat-walked in the general direction of the Generals. PPD held his head between his hands, "Noooooo!" he groaned. Mataji was at it again!
"Hey bois," said Mata, resting seductively against the table. "Vat is da scene?"
"It's actually Act 2, Scene 1, The Murder of Caesar," said the General who was too thin.
"Shoosh!" said the General who was too fat. "What's wrong with you?"
"May we help you?" said the handsome General, who was just right, blonde curls cascading down his forehead.
"You can help me anytime!" said Mata, giving him a 100 watt dose of unbridled Mata sexuality, with a pinch of tahini sauce thrown in for good measure.
The skinny General bristled at the attention going to Just Right General. "Hey Goldilocks! Let the rest of us receive some lovin!" He pushed General Just Right out of the way, and swooped in with a Blast of Charm. "It's my first time on an Egypt tour. Would be grateful if you could show me around? Do you want my number? MCXXVLLII Regiment Betraitorous. My Name, General Brutus!" he said proudly, rising to his full 5.5 feet.
"Nice to meet you!" said Mata, batting her eyelids. "I'm Mata," she said shortly.
"Pleasure to make your acquaintance," he bowed low over her hand.
"And vot are you handsome boys talking about?"
"Brutus, here is cut up about not being invited for a Particular Person's Bachelor party," explained General Just Right, pointing his thumb at General Too Brutus.
"It's not just about a party invite. It's a political point. Someone is getting too big for his sandals."
"Den do someting about eet!" said Mata, fanning the flames.
"It's not an easy decision to make," lamented Brutus. "I know He has to go. He's made some terrible decisions lately. Arranging coups in other countries in the Africa, in the name of "love", but we all know what it is he is really after! The problem is, we have grown up together, from KinderGarten days and have often been in the Baths together. The fact is, he's my best friend!"
"Sum times you have to do vot is good for your country. Ask not vot your country can do for you, but ask vot you can do for your country?" said Mata. "You goto do it. Then just do it," she flicked the air with a tick.
PPD and the Guest quickly ushered Mata out of the inn before she could ignite more flames, and headed down the street.
That night, in the Times New Roman they saw the news update:
Roman Emperor HRH Julius Caesar, stabbed in the middle of the day by his best friend Brutus. The emperor's last words were Et tu, Brute?*
"I wonder why he would speak in Marathi!" exclaimed the Guest.
*ए तू ब्रूटए?
-------next episode is a new Season.