Difficult Time
Not well today.
Myalgias - maybe a viral setting in.
Today we slaughter the sheep - an annual ritual to commemorate the sacrifice of Prophet Ismael (Peace be upon him) by Prophet Abraham (Peace be upon him) as a test from Allah of their faith and obedience. Of course, Allah changed the Ismael for a Ram, and the rest is history. Every able bodied person (man or woman) has to sacrifice something (sheep, goat, camel, cow, etc) as per their means. One-third is kept for own consumption and the rest has to be given to the poor. Amen.
Difficult time for me.
I am in a difficult mental space - I have not yet told Daniyaal, and I probably won't give him the entire picture. There's a lot of unspoken tension - Mom, Saba, Dad, just not letting it get through them, they'll express it at some point between now and Sunday, 7 a.m., Insha Allah.
I hope Allah forgives me.
At a level it's the hopelessness, the complete helplessness with which I will witness the goings on, if I am let in. At another level, I am nervous at the chance of not being let in, and just having wasted other people's money. (I am not being paid, and I have bought my domestic tickets, but the rest is paid for - travel, accommodation, food).
((Anyways))
May Allah make it easy for everyone.
Ameen.